The Meaning of Friendship...Kenya Week 9: November 29-December 5

 

“What is a friend?” Daniel asked the group of middle school children.

“Someone you like.”
“Someone who gives you his things.”
“Someone who is your neighbor.”
“Someone you trust.”
“Someone who helps you.”

The idea that a friend is simply someone who gives you his things or helps you surprised me initially. Is it because these kids have so little that a friend is anyone that gives them something? All of the children, aged 10 to 17, are partial or total orphans and are sponsored by the Mercy Orphans Group, a large organization within the Catholic Relief Services. Mercy Orphans sponsors 75% of their school fees, provides support for their caretakers, and trains teachers and volunteers to assist these needy youth. As a part of their school sponsorship they must attend a 4-day “Life skills Training” course. Sitting in a circle in a dilapidated schoolroom on incredibly uncomfortable desks, these children learn about everything from Communication, Being Assertive, Self Esteem, and Setting Goals to HIV/AIDS, Rape, Sex, and Abstinence. I was blessed to spend two days learning and laughing alongside these beautiful kids.

After two months of working in the Maternal and Child Health Clinic, I have decided I want to utilize my skills as a “Public Health Officer” and spend more time in the community. While I’ve had incredibly valuable experiences working in the Clinic and helping in the Wards, I’m hoping to learn more about life, health, and poverty outside the gates of St. Camillus. After coordinating with Father Emilio, nurses, social workers, and volunteers at the hospital, I’ll be volunteering with AWAKE. AWAKE is a youth HIV/AIDS Prevention Program that reaches kids in the classroom to teach them about HIV/AIDS and how to avoid becoming infected. Starting in January, (when the kids go back to school) I’ll help give talks and facilitate discussions along with the other AWAKE workers. The AWAKE Coordinators, Angela, Daniel, and Mary, are excited to have me on board: hopefully the mzungu (white person) will make the kids pay more attention rather than distract them. And I am looking forward to the opportunity to “be in the field” and to impact, in some small way, the lives of the students we reach with the AWAKE Program.

After the first day of my “new job”, I couldn’t help but reflect on Daniel’s talk about friendship. I realized the children’s response that a friend is someone who gives you his things is not simply a result of their poverty or need. It is not a way of seeing a friend as someone to take advantage of. Rather, it is acknowledging that a true friend will give till it hurts. They’ll share from their own poverty to help someone they care about. This is universal: my friends give me not only their things, but also their time, patience, support, love, and joy. Good answer kids.

Even more surprising than the students’ response to Daniel’s question about friends was his next question to the students:

“How many children do you think Kayla has?”

Wait, WHAT!?!

Some kids giggled. Others quickly guessed the number of my offspring:
“2!”
“3!”

WHAT, I’m only 22?!?!!?!

I quickly clarified: “ONGE!!” (“NONE!!”)

“Kayla doesn’t have any children because she wants to complete her education and accomplish her goals.”

Where are you going with this Daniel?

“And so Kayla chooses friends that will help her accomplish these goals. Her friends also work hard and want to accomplish their goals and dreams.”

Ok Daniel, nice recovery. I guess the fact that most Kenyan girls have at least 2 children by the age of 22 makes me a good role model for these girls. I’m glad my fertility could help you clarify what it means to be a good friend.


All in all, it was a wonderful training. The kids seem to pay attention and even managed to have some fun. I can only hope something sunk in and they’ll keep themselves and their friends virus-free. Who knows? Maybe they even learned a life skill or two.